The Death of My Daughter…well…Her Phone Anyway

Obituary

Kerra Perry died while riding on the way back home Saturday night, 19 March, 2015.  Actually her cell phone battery did, so to her, same thing. The battery in question was being used to text her final goodbyes to her loving father who actually needed to go to bed and wished his daughter would let him go to sleep.

Below is a recreation of her final moments.

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May her phone rest in peace…

… because dad finally did.

Welcome to My Mind

On the web (and through thousands of years on paper) people have realized a central desire to be heard.

Rondal visiting Venice for the first time with his kids. This was taken in front of the train station on an extraordinarily hot summer day.
Rondal visiting Venice for the first time with his kids. This was taken in front of the train station on an extraordinarily hot summer day.

Most prefer a pleasant or productive version of being heard such as singing a beautiful ballad or writing the Declaration of Independence versus passing gas (either direction) or that sound you make when stubbing your toe in the middle of the night but your in the baby’s room so you cant make a sound however a quiet whimper escapes your throat and the world spins slightly to the left.

And being heard is not just for the basic needs of human existence:

“Hey Zurg, pass me that tree branch so I can knock that saber-tooth upside the head…”

“Hey Ugh, pass me that tree branch so I can hit Zurg upside the head for being stupid…”

Sometimes, deeper and more profound realizations come into ones mind and there is a need to express these thoughts or opinions to others.

“Hey guys, why don’t you grab a stick and sharpen the end so it would be like you have a big tooth like that saber-tooth? … not that you would still have a chance but whatever.”

The objective of this blog is to entertain, enlighten and maybe even start a fight or two.  Undoubtedly, I will explore all sorts of topics that are of interest to me.  I will do my best to keep them separate, maybe put them in specific categories or keep them in alphabetical lists.  Occasionally I will just scramble them all up just to screw with you.  As you will find out, I have quite a few topics with which I have real working experience, and quite a few areas of interest that I have done extensive research.

The other 98% will all be just BS.

Enjoy!

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Honey, God Told Me To Go To Home Depot

I needed to return some stuff for work this morning. So I grabbed my wife’s car and while driving around I got this “feeling” that I needed to go to Home Depot. Now… for those of you who know me well, you’re saying to yourself, “Of course he has that feeling to go to Home Depot; he has that three times a day”. But this feeling it was especially strong.

So obeying my inner DIY nerd, I dutifully pulled in to the Home Depot parking lot which was filled beyond capacity; unusual for 10 am on a Friday. However, with the center of the Blizzard projected to be over the center of my house, people were stocking up on whatever was left at various grocery stores and home supply stores.

When I walked through the contractors door (because only real men do that), I saw familiar female Home Depot employee struggling with a large box in the aisle. I walked over and said “You need some help?”

I don’t know if she recognized me or not but she replied “Yeah that would be great, but I only need to open this box just a little. Once customer see what’s inside they’ll open up the rest.”

I ripped open the top of the box and inside was an amazing sight. Inside there had to be at least 50 snow shovels! Snow shovels about to be sold on the day the blizzard starts!

You see, last year I didn’t really get to use my snow shovel because I was in the hospital for the entire winter. The year before that, I used my snow shovel but I ended up breaking it toward the end of the year. Last month I threw it out and was planning on going out and buying another one whenever I got around to it. But of course I’ve been busy with work and other responsibilities and never did make it out to buy another shovel; including the last few days. And of course every time I have gone by in the last few days in every store they’ve been sold out.Snow Shovels

So right before me was an entire case of three different types of shovels. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Of course within the 3 seconds that I opened up the case, someone saw it and shouted “Shovels over here!” The response was something similar to a car alarm going off in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

Nevertheless I was able to pick up two different shovels and was at the cash register before the horde realized what was happening.

I got two: one for my son and one for my daughter